my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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