YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
