Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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