And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
