puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
this will be a night to untag.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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