I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize