I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
