That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
