We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
