I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
