he thought i was a dude.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
