Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
