I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
