Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
two words: eviction party
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
