I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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