I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
