oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
