I want to stick my p in your. b.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
