I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
