White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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