My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
