the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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