also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
