I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We were destined to go to rehab together
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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