Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize