but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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