I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
