i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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