so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
