The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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