A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
