I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
