i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
