Please, let me fuck your mom
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
