Soap is not a condiment
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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