The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
