I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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