Can Purell be used as lube?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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