so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
