took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
