I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
