who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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