Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
