I'm jealous of your bromance
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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