Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
