I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
