Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
