Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
