worst night to have a conscience
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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