My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Your penis caused this!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
