help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
