How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
