well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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