in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
