You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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