I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
