I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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