I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
a search helicopter?!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
