Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
