Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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