I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
