This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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