So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
