Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
